Walking in someone else’s shoes.
A professional colleague, April Rosenblum, has this true statement in her email signature.
“There isn’t anyone you couldn’t love once you’ve heard their story.” Today’s For Better or For Worse, one of my favorite comic strips, has an example of that theme from creator Lynn Johnston http://fborfw.com/strip_fix/.
“I am a militant shopper sometimes. I sneer at able-bodied folks who park in the handicap zone, grumble when they squeeze all the tomatoes, and will audibly sigh if there’s a long checkout line and some bozo decides to redeem a wad of coupons. On a busy weekend outside my favourite grocery store, someone had parked across the ramp. Shoppers couldn’t get to the parking lot without heaving their carts over the curb. The situation I drew in this strip was based on this incident, but it has a different ending.
I waited a minute, wondering how long this inconsiderate person would be. He certainly had to know that he’d blocked everyone’s path. I had a couple of choice comments to make like, “Couldn’t get any closer, hum?” or “The parking lot’s THAT way!” Soon the doors opened and an elderly man appeared. He was helping a woman who was pushing a small, half-filled shopping cart. He smiled at me as he held her steady and eased her forward. “My wife had a stroke,” he said, “this is her first time outdoors since she managed to walk again and she wanted to shop for groceries.” I opened the passenger door and kept the cart from rolling forward as he lovingly helped her into the car. I then handed him their grocery bags as he loaded them into the trunk. He explained that he’d moved the car closer to the door for her and was sorry for the inconvenience. He thanked me sincerely as he worked himself into the driver’s seat. As they drove away I thought to myself, “Thank heavens I didn’t say anything!” It was another lesson; a good story — and I guess I didn’t have the courage to tell it the way it was!”
I find that I am often ashamed of or contrite about my behavior, once I learn the story behind the event. Sometimes I, like Ms Johnston, am relieved that I didn’t speak my mind, once I learn the whole story.
Sometimes, there isn’t time to get the whole story; in such cases, we can be patient and polite, honoring our common humanity. This video shows what I mean: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDDWvj_q-o8
