Nikki Lee Health

I always ask for a pat-down when going through airport security, to avoid increasing my EMF bioburden. Today, coming home from Jackson, Mississippi, (  http://iflyjackson.com/ ), the TSA trainee gave me the most thorough pat-down I’ve ever received. I imagined that she was massaging me with care and love, and told her that; she smiled and said that she was.  She felt my waistband and seams and “sensitive areas” with her blue-gloved hands, while her supervisor watched.  The final step was to rub her gloved hands with a strip of treated paper and then place that strip in a machine to test it for any chemical residues that could indicate contact with a bomb.

Everyone was startled when the scanner screamed and flashed red. This led to a 40 minute delay, while 3 TSA agents unpacked and handled every single item from my backpack, my purse, and my suitcase, My laptop was scanned 3 times. My whole travel life was strewn across every available counter and shelf.  Pens, paper clips, handkerchiefs, forks, chopsticks, bottles of homeopathic remedies,and books were tested and scrutinized, rubbed with test paper and 3 more times, the scanner screamed and flashed red.  I was fascinated by the process and mystified as to the reason anything about me would set off the alarms. No one could figure it out. TSA agents from higher up came to supervise an actual event, making a total of 5 people scrutinizing everything about me, and then walking away so that I wouldn’t hear what they were saying.

Everyone was very nice, and explained what they were doing as they went about their investigation. I didn’t feel worried because I knew that I didn’t have contact with any bomb making chemicals; my only concern was missing my flight. I asked about that and was told by an agent who said, “I don’t work for the airline and can’t tell you if you will make your flight or not.”  This was not at all reassuring, and the only time I came close to tears.

While the supervisor was emptying one small pocket in my backpack, she pulled out teabags and a boob, a liquid filled breast model purchased from a porn site in China that I use to teach hand expression of milk. She didn’t know what it was at first, and tried to be cool and pretend that it was a brick or a baseball, something she sees all the time, whereas the male officers’ faces turned red in bright contrast to their light blue shirts.  In the midst of all the alarms and concern, this boob provided a hearty laugh to everybody, once the initial shock subsided.

After 2 more officials were called in to evaluate me, the top agent decided that I was free to go. I offered to give her the boob, but she refused.