A sad, and too common, situation.
A recent client endured a traumatic event in the hospital setting. She has since been unable to relax, and basically hasn’t slept since her baby was born, months ago. She has not yet relaxed into the give and take of the breastfeeding relationship; her pattern of interacting gets in her baby’s way, and leads to a battle. The baby is winning, refusing to breastfeed and preferring the bottle.
Many mothers seek my services as a holistic lactation consultant because of similar situations, where they are fighting with their babies at breast. Newborns have their own set of instinctive feeding behaviors; if the mother is working to control all aspects of the feed, and interrupts her baby’s innate wisdom, the baby eventually balks and refuses to breastfeed.
The mutual exploration that mother and baby do with each other during the first few days after birth is the template for their future relationship. The way they first learn to relate with each other is the way the breastfeeding therapist will see at the first meeting. When there are breastfeeding problems, often the mother and baby haven’t connected well enough with each other. They are out of rhythm, and out of sync. They can’t breastfeed as a result.
Creating an environment where a mother can open up to new ways is part of the job of the breastfeeding therapist. The mother and baby can connect when the mother lets go of the early, ingrained learning, and opens herself to a new way. find CST to be an integral and useful part of releasing the old pattern.
After 2 in-home visits, where easy and comfortable breastfeeding was achieved, my client was still susceptible to panic when her baby resisted the control imposed by the mother over positioning and latch. After 2 visits, the mother has seen the value of giving her baby control, yet is unable to do that when she is home alone. She can not afford another visit, where I would love to use CST techniques to calm her spirit, as I have done with many other mothers. I have suggested that she find a counselor paid for by her insurance who could help her to let go of the feelings around the trauma. I feel sad and worried that this mother won’t get the necessary care. I can not give my services away. If the mother ends up weaning, the cost of formula in the next months of the baby’s life will be huge when compared to the cost of another visit. Yet I can not argue with this mother’s perception and her budget.
Oh for the days when all mothers will get the care they need, regardless of socio-economic status!
