Babies are us.
While searching to find a reference for picking a baby up within 10 seconds of beginning to cry as a way to stop the crying, I found this sentence from a popular website: “Many babies cannot fall asleep without crying, and will go to sleep more quickly if left to cry for a while.” http://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/crying-colic/pages/Responding-to-Your-Babys-Cries.aspx I’ve never cried myself to sleep unless in the throes of extreme emotion, namely grief and heartbreak; the last thing I needed at those times was to be left alone.
Reading that sentence from a site sponsored by the American Academy of Pediatrics made me wonder why babies are treated as if they were an alien species, instead of being treated as humans.
Adult humans are not trying to double their weight in 4 months; adults drink when they are thirsty and eat when they are hungry, whenever they want. Yet adults want babies, who are doubling their weight in 4 months, to eat at predictable intervals, on a schedule. The non-growing adult wants their growing baby to be fed less often then they feed themselves.
What spouse tolerates being ignored when crying? What adult expects a bout of weeping to precede sleep? Yet parents are advised accept infant crying, and to ignore it, as if babies were not human.
As a childbirth educator and as a hospital nurse and lactation consultant, I have taught parents about the 3 different normal newborn feeding patterns: 1) from one breast and then going to sleep, 2) from both before going to sleep, and 3), the feeding cluster where the newborn feeds from one breast and then the other, going back and forth several times before going to sleep. Some parents worried about their infant’s feeding, as this information had to be learned and remembered. The teaching made infant care complicated.
Let’s make infant care simple. All humans eat in the same patterns. Adults will have a snack or a drink and be satisfied for a while. Adults will have a meal, and be satisfied for a while. Adults will also have a feast, a restaurant meal or a holiday dinner, where they eat virtually continually for a few hours. An adult Thanksgiving dinner and a newborn cluster of feeds are identical patterns
Let’s teach parents how to quickly respond to their babies. If the baby wants the breast, give it, just as we ourselves would get a drink if we were thirsty. If the baby is crying, cuddle and comfort the baby even when the reason for the crying is unknown. No one enjoys being ignored. Being ignored, being shunned, is a punishment. Babies don’t need punishment; they need nurturing. If they are thirsty or hungry, if they need some contact and connection, let’s give our babies the same courtesy that we want for ourselves.
We need to be teaching parents that their babies are human. Humans have the same needs and desires, no matter our age.
What do you all think?
