Nikki Lee Health

4 years ago, wanting to be sure it was good for me to continue skating,  I went to a sports medicine doctor who x-rayed my knees, said that there were some arthritic changes, along with good space between my femur and tibia, and recommended that I  stop jumping. I immediately followed his advice and gave up freestyle skating.

I then started ice dance, passing 7 dance tests; I also continued working on adult silver moves in the field. (cross strokes, forward and backward inside and outside 3-turns, spirals, power pulls, and the dreaded 8-step mohawk).  My wonderful coach, Chuen Gun Lee, worked his way into my heart, while being a supportive, steady and understanding coach.

Skating is one of the most difficult sports; I started when I was 50, already limited to what I could accomplish by virtue of being an adult learner, constantly humbled and frustrated by trying learn to do the simplest moves. I loved the feeling of increasing my levels of ability. I cherished the silent peace of gliding on freshly-cut ice, smooth as glass, especially at the rare times when I was the only one in the rink, and could play the music of my choice, or, skate silently in a moving meditation.

I’ve been injured some in skating, once spraining an ankle, and another time falling hard enough on my butt that I was injured. Physical therapists gave me quadriceps building exercises that I have done 5 out of 7 days a week for years; the quadriceps is the shock absorber for the knees. In addition, I wore protective neoprene sleeves, to keep my knees happy, protected and warm when I skate, along with my padded cap and my silicon sacral protector.  This all worked, until this week.

Last week, before resuming skating after a 2 month break, due to vacations and rink closure for maintenance, I went to the sports medicine doctor again for a check-up, asking him if I should quit skating to maximize my chances of being able to walk easily for the rest of my life. He did more x-rays, poked and prodded and said, that he saw no reason for me to stop skating. He also mentioned that I had fluid in both knees, something that wasn’t there 4 years ago.

Next, I worked with my gifted NET practitioner to take levels of emotion off my knees. Knees are symbolic of moving forward and progress; my knees were carrying emotions of immobility and paralyzed will. She also suggested that the fluid was from my knees trying to protect themselves.

The end of skating seemed to be coming, but I hoped that I could hang in there long enough to pass the 8^th dance, the Willow Waltz , before quitting. I scheduled a lesson with my wonderful coach.

While warming up before my lesson, I could feel my knees saying, “Hey. . .we are working hard to keep up with you. . . and we are not too happy about it.”  I realized that I was worried with every stroke. Skating is dangerous; falls are as simple as catching an edge in a rut, or shifting weight to the wrong place during a turn. My buoyancy and exuberance were gone, leaving fear in their wake. My knees were overwhelming my desire. I realized that the time to stop had come, as I wasn’t having fun anymore.

People generally live into their 90s in my family. I want to be able to walk in the woods and enjoy nature without pain or limitation.  I want my aging to be easy on my children, and I want my knees to work well for all my life. I also realized that I hadn’t missed skating at all this summer; in the past, when I was off-ice for a month to recover from an injury, I was eager to get back to the ice.

My coach got on the ice, and we hugged, and hand-in-hand, we started stroking down ice together, as we have done for 8 happy years. We chatted a bit about our summers, and then I said, “I am quitting skating” and explained my reasons.

CG understood right away. He said, “If you are not happy skating, then you can’t do it anymore.”

The wonderful 16 years of gliding and stroking and working is over. I am sad, and when truth is told, relieved. I am writing this post while sitting with ice packs on both knees, who did not enjoy the 45 minutes they spent carrying me during my last skating session this morning. I made the right decision.

Now my emotions, the anger and fear, have to be processed so that I can be fully congruent with my choice.  I will have help to do that. I can still hike, and do yoga, and start riding a bicycle. I will stay happily active for as long as I can, in gratitude and safety.

So be it.