Nikki Lee Health

Today’s feature from my favorite comic strip is this: http://fborfw.com/strip_fix  The little girl is proud of her pigtails and is showing them off to her daddy, seeing confirmation of her cuteness. Instead, she gets undermined, as her dad makes a joke out of it. She is vulnerable, he hurts her, and then makes it her fault that she is hurt.

Oh do I remember this growing up. A child’s vulnerability is easily wounded, just as easily as is an adult’s. We learn to protect ourselves from being humiliated or shamed. When someone asks for approval, a joke is not the kindest answer.

What does a child learn from such an encounter?  I learned never to ask for anything from my dad; I learned to be defensive about my creativity as I had to protect myself when queried about the most harmless things. I learned to repress my creativity; I learned not to try anything, because I  feared of being the butt of a joke.

This comic strip is an example of the thousand subtle and tiny ways we hurt each other. I am sure that I’ve done similar things to my children, to my friends, and to co-workers.

Now as an adult, I work to heal old shame hurts and increase vulnerability, so that my creativity is nourished. I seek to respect vulnerability in those around me, adults and children.

Tomorrow will be better.