Nikki Lee Health

Yesterday, I saw a lovely mother and her 5 month old baby. The mother requested a consultation because her baby wasn’t happy. Part of the history was that the baby would breastfeed very well at night, in bed with mamma, but wouldn’t feed more than twice during the day.

During a lovely long hike, with the baby alert and interested in the baby carrier,  the mother and I talked about everything: her work, her marriage, her labor and delivery, and her life. After nearly 2 hours, we got back to my office. The baby was ready to breastfeed. The mother got ready, opening her bra, holding her breast and her baby in a cross-cradle hold. The baby got fussy and the mother got worried; the baby didn’t attach.

At that point, it became obvious that the mother’s expectations and understanding were the barrier to easy, fun breastfeeding. The mother knew of another baby who was always happy and laid-back; her baby wasn’t like that. Her baby had a different temperament. The mother interpreted this as something wrong.

The mother had been attending a weekly support group where most of the babies were newborns, and was working to breastfeed the way she had learned in the hospital,  every 2 hours whether the baby wanted to feed or not.  Unfortunately, this is the way breastfeeding is taught in many hospitals, as a list of steps that must be followed in the right sequence and on the right schedule.

While the breastfeeding relationship for this dyad had been a battle, as the hospital style often is,  the connection between them was strong enough that the mother was willing to accept new ideas and pay attention to her baby for guidance.

When the baby found her own position on her mother’s lap, she showed just how well she could dive at the breast, attach herself, feed, let go and look around or smile at mamma, and then dive back and feed some more. The mother had no idea that her baby had any ability to feed on her own,  and was delighted and surprised to see how skilled was her baby.  When given the chance, this baby played at the breast, sucking her thumb and mother’s nipple at the same time while resting her foot on the other nipple. The mother didn’t know that this was normal behavior for a 5-month old. The interaction was charming to watch. Breasts are babies’ first toys.  Breastfeeding is a relationship; no one can teach relationship. Rather, what helps is creating the environment where the mother and baby can figure out their own way.

The major problem for this dyad was that they had never developed their own style of breastfeeding; the mother said that every interaction with her baby was a mission to accomplish something,  that they had never hung out and discovered each other. Breastfeeding during the day had been about following rules; breastfeeding at night had been mindless. The baby had made her preference clear.

They left all happy, looking forward to a new chapter in their lives.

I love my work.