Safe, sweet sleep.
Mothers who use my services almost always comment about their worries about sleeping with their babies; this leads to a lovely discussion.
I’ve always supported the biologic template, where a mammal mamma and newborn sleep next to each other. When a mother breastfeeds at night, the hormones of lactation make her sleepy; her milk contains ingredients that make her baby sleepy. Sleep is part of early breastfeeding. The exclusively breastfeeding mother sleeps in a different, protective position, curled around her baby, than does a mother who is not breastfeeding. Mamma and baby sleeping next to each other is natural for all mammal species, except for humans. Humans have made sharing sleep very complicated and scary for new mothers, at least in the developed world.
Bed-sharing can be dangerous when the people in bed with the baby are smoking or using substances (whether prescription or street) that alter consciousness and expose babies to toxins. Bed sharing is dangerous if a baby gets stuck in a gap, or tangled in a cord, or if the baby can’t move easily. Swaddled babies, or those on soft mattresses (like memory foam or pillow tops) are also at risk, as they can’t move to protect themselves.
Formula feeding doubles the risk of SIDS. Every audience that hears me say this is surprised, because they have never heard it before. Industry pays money to promote separate sleep campaigns so that families will buy cribs, and keep using formula, and tobacco. Profit is more important than health, and the Safe Sleep campaigns featuring gravestones as headboards and that show babies in bed with knives ensure that parents will continue to pay money for cribs, formula, and tobacco, instead of breastfeeding (free) and bed-sharing (also free) . Families that choose less healthy practices need to know what to do for the safety of their babies; we are lucky to be able to make those recommendations. But what about those families who choose the best, and live healthy lives?
Bed-sharing makes breastfeeding at night easy, because mamma doesn’t have to wake up to feed baby. (A boon for those mothers who are back to work or at school.) Bed-sharing is a way of parenting when mamma has to leave during the day as connection is sustained. One can parent during sleep. Employed mothers who don’t share sleep with their babies are apart for more time in 24 hours than any other caregiver because mamma is gone all day at work, and then is away from baby at night too. The day care provider spends more time with baby than does the mamma. This is wrong.
The major area of focus in my clinical practice is the encouragement for and recommendations about breastfeeding relationship. Safe bed-sharing, for those that are interested, is one strategy to increase joy in relationship. I am happy that I just watched a fabulous talk given by Diane Weissinger http://www.imothering.com/sweet-sleep/ on the topic of Safe Sleep. This talk includes a wonderful song, sung to the tune of Row, Row, Row Your Boat:
No smoke, sober mom.
I am sharing this song with everyone I know. Thank you Diane.
