Speak up!!
A mother came to me for craniosacral therapy, with the goal of releasing rage around the cesarean section she had nearly 6 months earlier. Her rage was a barrier between herself and the good relationship with her baby’s father. Her rage was keeping her from enjoying life with a sweet new baby. After some time on my massage table, she realized that she was mad at her providers, her baby’s father, and herself.
Her providers never took her seriously and discounted her desire for a VBAC. Her obstetricians viewed her with open skepticism during her doula-assisted labor, even though it brought her to nearly complete dilatation and effacement. As the labor was augmented with Pitocin, the pain was so intense that she let go of her dream of an unmedicated labor and took an epidural. During the placement of the epidural, the anesthesiologist made sexually charged comments and peered over her shoulder at her breasts. Eventually, she was informed that she was to have a cesarean section. No reason was given. Promised skin to skin care with her baby during her pregnancy, this was denied to her as well, for no apparent reason.
Both her doula and her baby’s father, Kenneth, validated the inappropriateness of the anesthesiologist. Kenneth fought the urge to attack the anesthesiologist; he felt powerless to do or say anything, fearing that an upset physician might have an “accident” that would result in permanent damage or death to his laboring wife and their baby.
She was angry with Kenneth for not protecting her. Emotions have their own reality. Kenneth did stay and contribute to the energetic clearing during this CST session; clearly he is an engaged and devoted mate and father.
She was angry with her providers for the dismal care, both during her pregnancy and during the delivery.
She was angry with herself for not taking herself seriously. During her prenatal care, she was unhappy with how her questions were being answered, yet she stayed with that obstetrical group, paid for by her insurance. Now she wished she had switched providers, even though that would have meant paying out of pocket for a midwife.
With my hands on her body holding open the doors to emotional release, she raged and wept. After a few hours, the intensity of the session diminished, she dried her eyes, relaxed and sat up, saying that she felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.
We three sat and chatted for a while. Neither of them had considered filing a complaint with either the hospital or the State Medical Association. I encouraged them to do so; while nothing may happen, their letter will go into a file. Should this anesthesiologist continue with the inappropriate behavior, and someone else complains, that complaint will join their complaint and increase the chances that this man will receive his just desserts.
Keeping silent will enable this provider to continue abusing the women who are his clients. He will feel invincible. It is a terrible feeling to be helpless and vulnerable; this couple can take their power back by taking action, even now, 6 months later.
Edmund Burke, an Irish philospher said, over 300 years ago, “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men should do nothing.” I encourage anyone who has suffered unjustly to speak up. You will be protecting another innocent.
