08 Jun 2019

Taking care of myself.

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I am sick; yesterday, the new cold brought coughs, drips and fever and sent me to bed feeling  awful. This morning the fever is gone, but the coughs and drips remain. I have things I want to do; I am feeling a little better, so I could out out for an hour or so and take care of those errands.

None of those things are essential. I don’t feel great; I am still sick. So why the conflict between going back to bed and taking care of myself and going out to do a few things?  Why do I keep thinking, “it would just be for a little while, and then I can go back to bed”?

Is this a lifelong habit, to ignore my needs in order to Get Things Done, no matter the cost?  Is this a refusal to be vulnerable or weak, to be sick enough to stay in bed for two days? Is this a cultural pattern, especially for women, to keep going no matter what? To avoid causing any inconvenience to anyone else because I’ve put my workload down for a while?

What do you think?

 

P.S.  I am staying in bed and feeling better about it, mostly because it feels so good to be lying down, warm, and free to cough and drip.

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