When rules get in the way.
A mother called for help breastfeeding her healthy, term, one-week old baby. She was speaking quickly, giving me all the details quickly, as if there was a deadline on our conversation. She sounded miserable, worried that she was “doing it right.”
She was feeding her baby on the precise schedule that the lactation consultant in the hospital had advised. Â Unfortunately, her baby wanted to go to breast in the unique random pattern of the newborn. “Something must be wrong”, she thought.
She had crowds of visitors everyday. This was the first grandchild on both sides; everyone “just couldn’t wait to get their hands on the baby.” She was being a good hostess, daughter, sister-in-law, wife, niece, sister, and friend.
I asked if all the family and friends had gone on the honeymoon with her after the wedding. No, they hadn’t. Thank goodness. She chuckled at the idea, and considered that perhaps she could limit visitors, even keep them away for a few days.
I asked if she looked at the clock every time she felt thirsty or hungry. No, she didn’t. She ate and drank according to her feelings. Thank goodness. Her speech started to sound relaxed, as she digested what she heard.
Mothers often come home feeling that their new baby is a fragile alien being, with complicated and bizarre needs. No one seems to tell them that the newborn is a human, albeit a smaller, immature one.
We get thirsty and take sips and drinks. Sometimes we have a meal. Sometimes we have a feast, and eat for hours. Think Thanksgiving or watching the Superbowl on TV with friends.
Babies get thirsty and want a sip. Sometimes they want a meal. Sometimes they want to feast for a few hours.
Let your newborn teach you to breastfeed and help you to grow into being a mother. Look at the baby instead of the clock.
